Bargain Game Gamble

Sometimes it's fun to walk into a shop, pick up a cheap game without knowing any reviews for it, and see if it's any good.

So, today me and my Dad braved the post-Christmas sales to see if we could find any gems in the game shops. My budget however was very limited. So limited in fact, that my selection was under £1. (And so my Dad paid for it anyway)

I present to you, Perfect Dark Zero:

Reduced from £1.99, because seemingly that was too pricey.

Lets not pretend now, when a game gets reduced from £1.99 to 98p it's not going to be the digital art piece your soul has always yearned for. However with a brand like Rare behind it and a whole plethora of  acclamations plastered over the case : how bad could it be?

"TAKE ME BACK TO SKYRIM!"

Initial tests don't look encouraging. The controls feel like your stuck in mud, and turning up the control stick sensitivity just makes it like you're sinking in mud and frantically looking for an escape. Sometimes navigating levels is also arduous, with very vague instructions on what your mission is meant to entail and a path-finder that stops abruptly before you reach your destination: leaving you bumbling around feeling as lost as you were before you started.

After that, trying to get into the premise of the game just feels hard. You're meant to be sneaky, clever and out-smarting the enemy. Whilst there are some nice touches like location damage and evasive rolls you can perform, by far the easiest way to get through is to run in guns blazing.

Taking cover, something that seems like it was meant to be very important, is grossly hampered by the game trying to tell you how to do it. It takes one button press to duck, anyone can do that, but if you dare to press A to take cover as commanded you'll regret it! Poor Joanna doesn't understand terrain very well and often gets stuck in less-than-helpful places, usually whilst taking five-tonne of gunfire to her pretty face and being too scared to move. I have nothing against cover-and-shoot gameplay, but this clearly feels like it should of stuck to good ol' fashioned circle strafing.

I'll keep at it and post an update when I'm further in to the game, but for now I think I hear Skyrim calling.

P.S. My dad snapped up Elder Scrolls Oblivion for £13.99, and almost certainly faired better out of the two of us!

The problem with Skyrim

The Elder Scrolls V Skyrim is potentially the worst game ever. (Please note the use of the word 'potentially')

Skyrim is a massive game. A real achievement in the world of interactive art. I often stop mid-game to just try and take in how amazing it is, and that is exactly the problem: It's too much. When there are enemies to slay, plots to solve and a whole wealth of experiences to be had, it can be really hard to get on with them when you're being distracted by other great stuff that ISN'T game play!

Take the butterflies for example.

It doesn't matter if I'm sneaking up on giants, running from the flames of a dragon or even just trying to get home: I go from Skull-Biter the Barbarian to Giddy McSkipperty the second a butterfly flutters by. In real life, I might take notice of a butterfly when I see one or even take a closer look if it lands, but I hope to high heavens that in a life or death situation I wouldn't take up lepidopterology mid-escape.

It's these breaks in character that unravel the whole role-playing facade. I am, sadly, not an all-powerful warrior hell-bent on saving the world. I do not know the angst of watching monsters tear apart my family, and rightly I shouldn't want to know, but I do want to pretend that's the case and get a cathartic release from braining a troll whilst shouting "I WILL NEVER FORGET!" The problem is though that my core interest, the slightly worrying need to zealously bury hatchets in skulls, does not have a window in it's philosophy for reacting to a scared rabbit diving into a waterfall: which did happen to my avatar.

I'm pretty sure the real life reaction is to yelp, laugh and 'aww' in quick succession. (Sadly I'd probably make it my internet status of the day too). However Skull-Biter would probably shrug off the foolishness of lesser beings, or conversely have a flashback to his dead child diving off a cliff to escape the monsters that now haunt his nightmares: neither of which I could role-play him doing because I was too busy walking round the house giggling.

There are so many things that can distract you; domestic-level interaction, the need for money, physical obstacles between you and what you want, the conflict between desire and obligation and etc. It's nigh-on impossible to maintain a simple character's drive because the world they live in is that much more complicated.

"I just wanted to open a bakery in a quiet provincial town, and provide for my children, but needs-must"
- Spider

Determinism is pretty much part-and-parcel of gaming, in that you are presented an experience to enjoy. The more choice you give the player though, the harder it is to structure their experiences: something important when trying to emulate a persona. Sometimes these experiences tick the right boxes with incredibly satisfaction, but other times this elaborate pseudo-reality of a high fantasy world is just that little too close to the bewildering truth of reality that your own high fantasy gets confused.

Not to make a direct comparison between two very different games, but Crash Bandicoot never had to deal with this shit. He smashed crates and ran down the road to victory. Sadly he won't see the light of day for months now because Skull-Biter is too busy juggling guilt, revenge and vegetarianism, and that's not easy to do with just an axe.