How to break a dragon

News just in, the dragons of Skyrim can be outsmarted by crouching!

Photos will be put up soon, but basically if you sneak up the tower in the introductory scene the dragon will bash a hole in the wall but then stare at you. It's quite odd just staring at a dragon, whilst everyone else is cowering in fear. You can even go back outside and look at the local guards standing confused, or try and locate the dragons genitalia if you so wish.

Next post will include pictures of this phenomena, but if you play Skyrim then try it for yourself!

A cruel way to play Pokémon

It was a slow day at work where I once again found myself trapped in conversation with a customer. Sometimes they are fascinating but mostly they are mind-numbingly boring. I feared the worst and expected the usual but some how the conversation turned to Pokémon.

I am, and always have been, a Pokémon fan. My parents’ house is still littered with paraphernalia I collected over the years and to this day I stand by my belief that Pokémon in real life would make the world a better place. (A morally ambiguous and shockingly violent place, but better none the less.)

Back to the shop, and this customer starts telling me about a challenge one could undertake on the Pokémon games. The title of which was stupid and forgotten straight away but the concept was intriguing. So, dusting off my copy of Pokémon Crystal, I started a new game with the following self-imposed rules:

1.     The first kind of Pokémon encountered in an area is the only kind of Pokémon you are allowed to catch in that area.

2.     Once said Pokémon is caught, you can no longer catch Pokémon in that area.

3.     All caught Pokémon must be given nicknames.

4.     If a Pokémon faints, it must be set free at a PC and the game must be saved. It is dead and you must accept it.

The ingenious thing about this set-up is what it does to game play. For one thing, you are no longer seeking to create an ultimate fighting team. Now you’re forever trying to make do with what you can get. Creatures you might have scoffed at before become valuable assets in your limited and truly mortal ensemble.

At the start I found myself with a team consisting of my starter (Totodo the Totodile), two Pidgeys (Popo and Podge) and an Unown with a fire-based hidden power (named Jay after his shape). By all accounts this is not a good team, but my god did I cherish them! Unown especially, who is usually considered a novelty, was integral in adding early firepower and a potent special attack to my force at this early stage. Using him to catch a Gastly at Sprout Tower (when no other Pokémon could touch them) and also to defeat the monks inside felt awesome!

Of course though it is that last rule of the challenge that has the most impact, and for a while it had almost slipped my mind. Then it happened. A leveled up female Bellsprout called Ladysprout died at the hands of Fisherman Ralph’s Goldeen. My jaw dropped, my heart sank, and a mixture of rage and utter devastation swept over me. The real kicker was when Ralph offered to give me his phone number in case he spotted rare Pokémon round here, not realizing that because of the rules laid upon me the only Pokémon I could catch, and already done so, had just died at his hands.

I have no shame in admitting that I shouted at his fat stupid pixilated face before texting my girlfriend for moral support.

However I carried on with grim determination, nearly loosing more monsters in Union Cave with the absence of a decent grass-type, and relishing the chance to fill the void left by the death of a promising youngster.

I’m at Goldenrod City now, and will no doubt post more about how it goes. I thoroughly encourage any other Pokémon players to try this out! Failing that, comment below any challenges you have attempted in your video games!

Till next time!