The strange emotions caused by Minecraft multiplayer

Last night got very weird.

After experiencing some problems getting along with fellow gamers on a Minecraft server, me and my house mate (the same man from the Mass Effect 3 Multiplayer post) decided to find a quiet area away from everyone else to start a project.

'Waterfall Farm'

The little waterfall in question. Apart from the crafting table, this was entirely map-generated. (Bonus points for spotting the Creeper who wants to spoil the fun)

With some grass facing this little lagoon, we started building up a little farmstead. The plan was simple: small house, few animals and some crops so that we could have something to do and a steady production of food and crafting materials.

The strange thing was that it didn't take much for this incredibly simple project to become something altogether more personal. Being survival mode, construction was plagued by creepers and other mobs. Gathering animals for stock became not only a vital part of the project but personal tales of over-coming adversity as evil beset us. It was all starting to get a bit biblical.

Look at them, milling around. I don't think they even realise how many times they were nearly blown up!

Then there was the farm house. It started off small, no need for a mansion, and it only ever needed to be practical. However it didn't take long for a few personal touches to creep in and turn it into something a bit odd.

Admittedly, it looks more like a strange prison but...

...it's very nice inside!

Very quickly, this was the place where two farmers were to hold out against the odds. We'd take a floor each as we built it up: sharing design ideas and keeping watch for each other and the creatures of the night. There was one time I watched from the just-installed bedroom window as my partner brought home a cow, only for a creeper to assail them. I nearly smashed the glass with my bow and arrow, but felt a real sense of relief as I saw the creeper outwitted and the cow unharmed. That doesn't happen in real life. It was like being in the old American frontier. We needed the cow, we had to survive. The thought that we might not be able to make a cake was truly worrying, much like the growing recognition of how stupefyingly involved I was becoming.

Pushing the beds together would have probably crossed a line that even the Zelda-themed texture pack would not protect against.

As night finally settled, once the cow had been put in the paddock, we instinctively hurried up the stairs to the bedroom. We laughed at the fact we were so giddy and pleased about having somewhere to 'rest'. Even through we had full knowledge of the absolute ridiculous levels of faux-immersion we were subjecting ourselves to, as we went to our beds and the screen dimmed I couldn't help but look across to the other bed and be glad that my co-worker was ok: that he hadn't respawned back in his original home and lost the livestock.

This had got very silly.

Eventually, after realising that Minecraft-sleep was not the same as real sleep, we called an end to our gaming session. The farm still stands, a testimony to our trials and achievements, and sure enough we will be back to create efficient wheat farms and orchards and pathways to lead us back to civilisation for trade.

Even though this is undoubtedly a foolish waste of time, the beauty of Minecraft is that you can make your own genuine experiences within it. Though it makes me sound like I am being employed by Mojang to say it, you do indeed craft your own entertainment by creating your own little world.

On the downside, I don't see me getting a girlfriend any time soon :/

Can't be put better than that really.

Additional: If you were wondering about the texture pack, it's called 'Xaiwalker' and can be found for download here.

Things I've heard my housemate shout whilst playing Mass Effect 3 multiplayer

• Do I want to watch an Asari orgasm?
• Sorry! Didn't mean to shoot you! You all look alike!
• Geth priiiiime! Geth priiiiiime! Geth priiiiiiiiiiiiiiime!
• SPACE MAGIC!
• He's got whips. I don't like that. Whips aren't my thing.
• I just saw your alien backside. Looking goooood.
• Man we should've kept this game private. Now there are people getting kills that aren't me.
• I'm using a sniper rifle like a shotgun. Sniper rifles aren't meant to be used like this. It's blowing holes into people!
• He's lost his head! I shot his head and now where he had a head he has-a-not-a-head!
• SPACE LESBIANS!

Like funnies? Check out TOAST

Why petitioning for a game to be made is important

Timesplitters. I freaking love it. Then one day I found out that Free Radical Design (the creators of the series) had gone bankrupt and then been bought out by Crytek. That was 3 years ago, and any news of 'Crytek UK' making Timesplitters 4 has died out.

And then I found a Facebook group trying to petition for it's release. At the time of writing, 1,324 people support the page which has a target of 100,000. In many respects it seems silly. Facebook fans does not translate into financial backing or any of the hard work required to make the game.

But there is no other clearer way of telling a game company what you want to buy!

Petitioning is a direct representation of what people want. It's the mob-turned-statistics that get the proverbial ball rolling. It's market research that doesn't guess trends but actually tells the game makers out there what they should do!

1,324 is not a lot, but it is 1,324 clear votes of confidence for a game that doesn't even exist yet. That's got to be compelling!

The petition can be found here

Things I never learn in Left 4 Dead 2

• Running ahead is funny BUT I should not expect my team mates to give a damn when I get taken out by a single special infected miles from safety.
• Shouting "HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER HUNTER" when it has already pinned me is not worthwhile use of the headset.

Nonononononononono!

• Pistol whipping a Tank never works.
• Grenade launchers are not corridor-friendly.
• Using a grenade launcher from the back of a group in a corridor, is definitely not friendly.
• The hilarity of sniping a single zombie with a grenade launcher isn't funny enough to outweigh how much of a complete waste of ammo it is.
• Although this is debatable.
• People don't like it when you shoot a boomer that's within Eskimo-kissing range of them.
• Don't Eskimo kiss a boomer.
• AI team mates WILL try to heal you regardless of you shouting at them.

I've had this game a good two years and I still do this stupid kind of stuff. On the plus side, I did leap across a stairwell in Dead Centre, across fire and spitter goo, kill a hunter, rescue someone who was incapacitated, and all without taking damage.

Didn't make up for all the other stuff but still...

I say! Dredging through the Americas shooting people? It just isn't cricket is it?!

Things learnt on a Minecraft server

• Minecraft + Skype = Black box recordings of the worst tragedies.
• Wolves will cross entire oceans for people who feed them bones, and not hold it against them that their new master only had room for one in their boat.
• Spiders are never in short supply. Neither are spider-related reasons for swearing.
• Creepers may very well hate you, but the entirety of the Nether hates you even more.
• If someone's bartering demands seem steep, it's because "you weren't there man!"
• Coal always appears when you don't need it.
• If you're going to play with exploding bottles of poison, expect to get poisoned.
• Further more, if you're going to invest a lot of time and effort into exploding bottles of poison, expect to muck up regardless!
• Remember to eat... both in-game and out.
• The End is always very very very far away!

Check out the rest of this blog for more game-related foolery, or if you thought this post was funny, check out my other blog: 'TOAST'

My last magic gaming moment

Video games are not known for creating magic moments. Maybe nostalgia is inherently technology-phobic, or just that they are not designed for great moments of significance. Then again, as games become more complex they draw in huge teams of creative and artistic types into the development process: ‘Scripting’ no longer means just lines of code when it comes to making a game, Depth used to be about ‘parallel scrolling’, not character development and etc.

Picture unrelated, although somewhat magical

However as games development goes forward, and the end products become more complex, an extra layer of enjoyment can be attained for the simplest of core principles: the executing of a good idea.  When Mario makes a jump, you feel good. When Pac-Man outsmarts Blinky, Pinky Inky and Clyde, you feel smart.

And when Bomberman traps his opponent before blowing them up, you feel like the devil himself.

So when it comes to magic moments, I am proud to say that the last time this happened to me wasn’t from viewing the majesty of Skyrim or musing over moral obstacles in the world of Mass Effect. It came from playing multiplayer on Bomberman Generation (it’s Gamecube outing).

Pretty much sums it up

Three human players and an AI nicknamed Victor took to the arena, and no amount of Hudson-Japanese-cuteness could dilute the evil and anarchy of playing with explosives. When you get caught in a Bomberman explosion, you don't get hurt: you die. No ifs, no buts, no mercy. Every bomb dropped, be it by the enemy or yourself, can spell the end of you. That's pretty alarming stuff! It's this very risk factor that makes Bomberman a hugely thrilling game series, and there's little else it needs apart from that!

Quite possibly the only time it's acceptable to scream at a grid

That same evening we played other games, more modern and complex, but it really was Bomberman who held centre stage. Shocked as I was, not even Left 4 Dead 2 could hold up to cross-shaped explosions and chirpy little Japanese robo-men. If you haven't already played a Bomberman game yet: FIX IT!

MELONS OF VICTORY!